There are times when even I’m left gobsmacked by the barefaced hypocrisy that emanates from the media peddling their favourite white-knighting narrative

It begins as it fully intends to go on:

Every mother lives for those small, joyful moments when her child masters something new – a book once too challenging, the telling of a joke previously stumbled over, a food devoured that had formerly been rejected.

For it’s in the gentle minutiae of a little one’s life that you really see their budding personality grow.

How lovely. But no wait…

Imagine, then, the agonising pain of being privy to your child’s life for only half the time. The milestones missed. The lost cuddles before bedtime. The long nights spent wondering if they are sleeping sweetly or crying out for Mummy.

Oh quelle horreur – what could have caused such a heart rending parting of a parent and her child?  Have the poor bairns gone missing? Have they been kidnapped?

This is the reality for Britain’s growing legion of 50/50 mothers, who divide their time with the children equally with their exes.

Oh, the humanity, the deprivation – they are staying with <gulp> the other parent. That male thing, that bastard wanting equal time with his children.

But it comes at an emotional price for the mothers involved – and the consequences for children are as yet untold.

Oh I’m sure it does.

I can hardly believe that this article is not satire, such is the lack of self-awareness or indeed any hint of irony throughout.

Such emotionally gruelling arrangements over childcare are becoming increasingly common.

While official figures suggest that only 3 per cent of separated parents share their children’s time equally, experts say this is a gross underestimate because many arrangements are unofficial – and so unrecorded.

It’s presented as though it is a grubby little black market in equal access, unrecorded and unregulated.

However, [Jane] warns that trying to be fair to both adults can be damaging for the children.

Of course, a completely unbiased female mediation spokesperson manages to think of the children. Apparently it wasn’t a problem until men started wanting to take on more of their share of child rearing – those bastards upsetting the children again. Tellingly, there’s no hint in the article of the women taking any part of the responsibility for inflicting the situation on the children in the first place.

But this seems to take the biscuit for self-entitled lack of empathy:

‘I know the girls have to see their dad, but at the end of the day I’m a mother who has to somehow learn to stop being a mother for half of my life,’ she says. ‘I’m not sure I can ever come to terms with that. I don’t know many mothers who could.’

Equality is hard for those who apparently have the privilege, as men who are only too well aware are incessantly reminded. Yet amongst all the projection around patriarchy this kind of article outlines the privilege that many women have enjoyed for a long time at the expense of men. Men who were simply expected to get a bad deal in family courts and who were expected to just suck it up because, well,  they weren’t the mother. When that privilege is challenged we get this kind of emotionally incontinent outburst,  with nary a hint of recognition that this is exactly what men in this position have been suffering for many years.

Tell me why you deserve any sympathy whatsoever.